


Moose Attack

by Soobiebear



Category: Rush (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soobiebear/pseuds/Soobiebear
Summary: Gen mostly, a few references to non-sexual butt stuff.





	Moose Attack

My cell phone rang at 10:13am. Not sure why the number stuck in my head, but as soon as I saw Alex's goofy face on the screen I sat down as I swiped, ready for another one of his rambling and joke filled conversations.

"Ged, hey, thanks for answering." Immediately I knew something was different, Alex had an anxiousness to his voice that normally wasn't there.

"You know I always take your calls." I sat a bit straighter up on the sofa, prepping for whatever news he was about to dump on me. "Just had to step away from the Swedish Bikini Team for a moment."

There was a missed beat that should have been filled with a chuckle, or at least a giggle.

"Was just writing up a shopping list. What's up?"

"You heard from Neil lately?" I could see him biting his already short nails down to the quick.

"No?" It's not like I never talked to Neil but when we were off it was on an open ended as needed basis. It wasn't unusual to go a few weeks without hearing from each other.

"It's just," Alex spat out a bit of nail silently. "He normally writes back to me every morning, even if it's just a meme or a one liner and it's been two days now."

Kyla walked past me and held up a half empty bag of tortilla chips. "Put it on the list," I waived her off towards the kitchen. "It's early still, maybe he's sleeping in."

"Neil? Ha!" The sarcastic chuckle bothered me more than it should have. "He's up by seven every day, writing done by 8:30. He's very schedule oriented."

"Maybe he's sick. Maybe your email jokes have finally reached the pits of unreplyability."

"No, no," Alex blurted. "He's not even getting his emails, it, umm..." he paused but continued slightly embarrassed. "It sends me little messages when he reads an email so I know he's got it. He's not even read them since Monday."

I tried to rationalize with him. "Maybe he went on a trip. Or the power's out. You know how it gets in the mountains."

Alex wasn't having it. "Something's wrong, Ged. I can feel it. His cell phone is off and that's not like him."

"What did Carrie say? Maybe he's off with Brutus out of signal range."

"She went back to California two weeks ago. Said he missed winter and wanted to stay behind a bit." I could hear Alex pacing, probably still chewing on a nail. "Anyone else I wouldn't worry, but it's Pratt."

Sometimes Neil's OCD-ish patterns said more than words ever could. "Did you call his neighbor? Whats-her-name? Maybe they can swing round."

"UUgh," Alex sighed with irritation. "I'll just look that up in the phone book under W for whats-her-name."

I couldn't remember her name either, so that was of no help. Alex getting snarky wasn't helping anyone. "Well, what do you propose to do Captain Alex?"

"Got any plans for tomorrow?"

************

A few hours later Alex's Jeep pulled up and my phone buzzed with a text. I grabbed my quickly packed duffel, kissed Nancy goodbye, and went off on a nice mid-winter drive into the Laurentian Mountains with this crazed lunatic beside me.

"Try calling him again." Alex gripped the wheel and piloted down the slushy highway. "Maybe he's got a charge now."

"Alex..." The last three calls had all been the same. Neil's phone was either off or out of battery, and it went straight to voicemail.

"Just try it, ok? Not hurting anything." I rolled my eyes and waited for the voicemail to pick up again, which it did after four rings.

"Voicemail again." I stuck the phone back into the cupholder and watched the scenery pass. At least I was good at travelling, god knows we all had enough experience.

"Shit," he cursed and drove even faster.

By nightfall we were approaching Ottawa, and the GPS wanted to send us through downtown, but Alex kept hugging the coast. Recalculating route the phone kept going off. In half a kilometer, make a U turn and continue on 401 south. Alex would blow through the turn around. Recalculating route.

"Hey, umm, Alex, I think you missed a turn back there." Given the darkness and sudden drop in temperature I much would have gone through Ottawa, traffic be damned.

"What?" Alex seemed to shake himself untranced. "Yeah, no, I'm gonna cross at this little town I know further up." He blinked and rubbed at his eyes, tires occasionally catching on a spot of frozen slush. "There's a Timmy Ho's just on the other side of the river."

"I'm pretty sure there's coffee in Ottawa. And at least the roads are plowed."

"Do you want to drive?" Alex took his eyes off the road long enough to glare at me.

Recalculating.

"Oh shut up you."

Wordlessly, Alex drove us through miles of unmarked farmland as the weather gradually got worse. Twilight faded into night and all but the bravest of travelers exited the motorway. It wasn't as bad when he finally got us back on the TransCanada, but both of our nerves were shot and Alex was a worried mess and tired from all the stress.

He stopped at the Tim's he mentioned after passing up one just before the bridge over the Ottawa River. He left me to order while he used the little boys room. We were definitely in Quebec but I managed to get some coffee and donuts, knowing that the crushed peanut coating would get all over his car. While I waited I tried calling Neil again in vain hope that he'd actually answer. Personally I think we'd show up at midnight to find him ensconced in a big comfy chair and twenty chapters deep in a dusty tome, completely unaware that anyone had been trying to reach him. Alex had a sense sometimes, and it was enough to make me wonder.

Alex picked up his drink from where I'd set it on the table, simply adorned with a nihilistic 'A'. "Oh mon petite dejeuner, merci pour le café." I raised an eyebrow at being called breakfast, and waited for Alex to get a few reviving hits of caffeine down his throat.

"Yes, let's get back on the road." People were starting to stare and Alex wasn't even drunk. "I think we've been recognized." Sure enough, even the employees had their cell phones out snapping pictures. A cold gust greeted us outside; it felt like the temperature dropped another two degrees.

"How much longer?" The car was still fairly warm and the hot coffee helped.

"Hour or so. Just hope the ice isn't too bad." Alex set his coffee down and started the Jeep. "Hand me a donut. Please." He added, shaking off the napkin I tried to give him. "You know," he said around the mouthful of Maple Glazed fried perfection, "I'm really thinking something is bad wrong. Like, at least he would have seen the missed calls and tried to call back or email or something." He plugged his phone into a charger and drove around the small building before hitting the highway again. "What if it's like one of those medical shows, and he fell on a bottle of scotch and it went up his butt?"

"I try not to think about Neil's ass."

"Yeah, but wouldn't that be a rock and roll way to go out?"

I could tell the image was going to haunt me. "They don't just fall on stuff, they lie because they're embarrassed." Thankfully Alex let the butt talk drop and focused on driving. The four wheel drive didn't help at all on ice and we ended up driving a lot slower than the speed limit.

"Well, the lights are on, so he's got power." Alex parked the car as close to the house as he could, so if anyone came or went they couldn't miss the Jeep.

"See that?" Alex pointed at the garage. "No fresh tire tracks."

"Right, so he's either gone away a while or is inside hibernating."

"You try calling him again? I'm gonna go knock." Voicemail again, no surprise there, but Alex also ended up staring at the closed door despite ringing the bell and knocking loudly.

"Maybe he's taking a bath?" Increasingly understanding Alex's panic I started grasping at straws.

"For three days?" Alex knocked again and waited. At least it wasn't snowing. "I had an uncle who died in the bathtub," he ruminated.

Not wanting to hear anymore of Alex's depressive family history, I reached out and turned the door nob, stunned when the door simply swung open. "Well, that's not good," Alex noted.

"It's the country," I shrugged. Wouldn't leave a door unlocked like that in Toronto, but way out here? Hell, if they wanted something bad enough to get all the way out here at least they wouldn't break a window.

"Crackheads everywhere," was Alex's only reply. "Neil? Neil it's Alex and Ged are you home?" He stomped off his shoes and crossed the threshold, looking around carefully. "Neil?"

There was some coffee left in a pot and dishes in the sink, a newspaper left folded on the granite counter. He hadn't cleaned up like he was going on a trip somewhere. "Hey Neil, got you some of those peanut donuts you like." We took off our coats. Clearly he wasn't just hiding from the world and this might take a while.

The house was pin drop quiet. "Neil?" Alex wandered into the dining area and then the den, shaking his head as he walked back. "I'll check upstairs, you check down?"

I slowly climbed the stairs with a deep feeling of dread. At least if it had been a burglar they would have broken stuff and smashed things. Everything looked normal, like a life interrupted. "Neil?" Each bedroom and bath was empty, thankfully, and the junk room and bonus room were also empty. If he was here he wasn't on this floor so I went off in search of Alex.

He had made it to the garage and was looking out the back door, waiving me over as soon as he saw me. "Those ski prints look pretty recent."

"Yeah, but coming or going?" It was hard to tell in the yellow light of the flood bulb. Alex unlocked the door and another blast of artic air hit us.

"Can't tell." Alex wasn't exactly the sporty type and I didn't know much about Neil's skiing hobby. "Edges are a bit rounded, maybe a couple days of wind?" On the far wall hung Neil's ski rack with skis of all sizes, some short and pink ones for Olivia and a few adult looking sizes, with one noticeably empty peg. "Shit," Alex said it the same time I thought it. "Get the coats, and a flashlight." He was rooting around through some bins before I was even back in the house. When I came back, he had hats and gloves pulled out, a scarf for himself, and most importantly the keys to the snowmobile.

"You've ridden in a while?" I hadn't and shook my head no as I quickly bundled up. "Me either, this might be a bit jerky."

Jerky was an understatement as Alex fought with the clutch and choke, bouncing us over Neil's ski trail as I scanned the edges of the trail.

"Anything yet?" Alex screamed back at me over the engine.

"No," I screamed back as he opened the throttle again. At least I had my mobile phone on me, when Alex landed us in the freezing lake at least I'd have a few minutes to check Twitter before succumbing. If I could get any sort of signal out here.

Alex kept the snowmobile's headlight fixed on the ski marks, slowing down going up the hills and reaching unsafe speeds on the downsides. We must have been a good five kilometers out when something caught my eye.

"Alex," I punched him in the shoulder. "Turn around, go back a bit." He slowed down and managed a graceless forty seven point turn in the middle of the woods. I kept my flashlight on the shape I'd seen as we flew past. As we got closer I could see arms, human arms, waiving at us.

"That's him, that's him," I pushed on Alex's shoulders again.

Alex pulled the sled to a stop fairly close to Neil, managing to keep the skid in the middle of the path and avoided skewering Neil. "Mr. Pee-art? I'm such a big fan, would you mind signing an autograph for me?" Neil was already starting to drag himself from the makeshift igloo he'd concocted.

"Fuck off kid, or I'll sick Michael on you." I kneeled in the snow and tried to help pull Neil closer to the sled, stopping as he grunted in pain. "Think I broke my leg."

"What else? Are you ok?" A broken leg could be dealt with, internal bleeding or a smashed up brain not so much. He seemed to be with it.

"Fucking freezing, a few bumps and scratches, but the leg is the worst of it I think." With both of us holding him up we managed to get him to the snowmobile. I didn't see any large amounts of blood on his snowsuit when I ran the flashlight over him.

"What happened anyway?" We let him rest a bit before trying to actually get him on the snowmobile. It was probably going to be the worst ride he ever had.

"I hit a moose."

"Well, that's pretty Canadian of you." Alex was sizing up the sled and all three of us.

"Another three kilometers up there's a big hill, and I got going too fast, went up the next baby hill and didn't see the moose on the other side." He made a fist and rammed it into this other glove before wincing as his leg shifted. "Crawled back this far. Probably would have made it in another few days."

Alex and I just stared at him with our mouths open. Superman had nothing on this guy. "So you crawled back through the woods for three days with a broken leg and are gonna live to tell the story?"

"Not at this rate I'm not." Neil started pulling himself closer to the snowmobile. "I ate whatever I could find and snow to stay hydrated, the cold kept most of the swelling down, and I was dressed for the weather. Managed to build little shelters when I got tired or at night and it's probably the modern quackery that will kill me."

"Any one got a cigarette?" None of us smoked anymore, Alex snuck a few when he thought no one was watching. "I could use a smoke and some booze." Neil gave up on getting himself on the snowmobile, motioning us to lift him up.

"Ged, I hate to tell you this, but we're all not gonna fit."

"Did you guys not think you've have to bring me back?" Neil quipped.

"You wanna draw straws, or..." Like there was much choice.

"Get Neil home, and start getting him warmed up. Call for an ambulance. Then come get me."

"I don't need an ambulance. You know how long it takes them to get out here?"

Some time alone in the deep woods at night was starting to sound better and better. "He's half frozen, will you just go please?"

"Yes Captain!" Alex saluted me and waited for Neil to hang on to him.

"Geddy, watch out for that moose. I think I made her mad." With a loud brap and a yelp of pain from Neil they were off for civilization, leaving me with a flashlight and a soaker as I quickly stepped through an ice crust and into a puddle. Great. The engine noise faded away as Alex sped them home. I started the long walk back down the trail constantly looking over my shoulder for one very pissed off moose who had a beef with musicians.


End file.
